We had an unplugged and cozy band practice last night and some of the guys were chuckling about how it can be so easy as musicians to not notice the lyrics to a song we've played a hundred times, particularly if you're not a vocalist singing the lyrics every time.
I differ, however. I sense that there are two camps of people when it comes to music (whether you make music or just listen to it). There are those who hear the music, the beat, the instruments, the vibe, the groove. Then there are the lyric people. These people listen for the words, the crafting of the message, the meaning behind the song. I love both of these camps, personally, and love hearing what people absorb and enjoy when they engage with a song. It particularly intrigues me to hear what people feel and engage with when they hear my songs.
I lean heavily towards the lyric camp myself, which is why I am constantly worried that I might sound trite, or cliche, or have too many repeating words or lines or themes. But I also love a good groove, and so rely heavily on rhythm to carve out the feel of the song. MAN, I love this music creating thing!
Freight Train - here's a song that has some deep meaning for Ryan and I as we've stepped out into the world of exposing our crazy and decided to just be who we are, offering every inch of our weird to the public.
I fight against those horrible voices. You know them. We all have them. Those voices that tell you you're ridiculous, or it's too scary, or you shouldn't do ___(insert thing you dream of doing)___ for fear of failure. Those voices seem to get louder the more I decide to defy them. And defy them I am! But MAN, what a job to continually speak against them. What a task to train myself to tell those voices "YOU'RE LYING" and forge on through the unknown, through the fear of rejection, reminding myself that I lose very little in failing, whatever failing means.
Freight Train began as a cry out to those people "out there" who might tell me that what I'm doing is crazy. That leaving birth work (that pays) and following my dream of becoming a performance/recording artist is bat-wing nutso, particularly at the ripe age of 36 when I've got three kids at home and am not in my early adulthood anymore.
You hear what I did there? You see it? I started out this song by assuming that people out there were actually saying those things about me. But the big lesson that I've worked to learn is that those are not voices that I've ever heard in my ears from the mouths of people. Those are voices that I have in my head. And they all speak so poignantly to the very fears that haunt me most deeply about exposing myself. Coincidental.... hah.
The fact is, there WILL be people who do say things, whether to my face or behind my back. But truly, deeply, it's not what matters. The fact is, setting my fears aside and doing what I LOVE to do, what I LONG to do, is so very worth any backlash I get, be it from my inner voices or from true physical ones.
And so, my friends, I offer you Freight Train, in all its "Stickin' it to the voices" glory.
I don't care if they run me down; I'm gonna run this race of mine
I don't care if their sun don't shine on me; I've got my own right here
Sticks and stones they may break my bones but maybe they won't; no maybe not
They may call at me, shout my name
Call me a fool, but just give it a shot
Keep these feet off this ground NO SIR
I'm gonna fly, so take a picture of that
If you can't see it I'm still right here doing my thing
As a matter of fact
Rumble rumble just like a freight train that lights, ignites my soul
Now I can't tell where these feet may land
It's all the same; I'm open wide
I'll trip up but I'll laugh and say
It's alright; we've got plenty of time